Jesse

Yesterday marked a really sad day for me, for the family, for all who knew Jesse.

She was a joy to our lives. She was the one who comforted me even though she couldn't understand me.

Today,

When I woke up.

There was nobody to talk to.

There was no loud bark.

There was no prancing around, trotting around.

She was gone.

She came to our house 7 years ago, still a baby.

She had a weird face, she was small.

We had tons and tons of fun with her.

One day, my brother decided to make her a character that would be humane.

She became something important in our lives.

We took thousands and thousands of photos, videos.

She was a STAR.

I couldn't bear myself to tell you what happened last night.

Maybe it was something I told her. Maybe it was me who didn't look after her.

Maybe it was really Ti Gong who really loved her, asked her to be with Ti Gong.

She was so cute when she sat down in front of the praying table, as if she was kneeling down, praying.

I miss her.

I miss her loud, high pitched, yet funny bark.

I miss her selfishness to the fact she will gobble everything up, not wanting to share food with others.

I miss her fetishes for cloth and cushion. She would sit and sleep in comfy cushions all day long.

I miss her funny, paper thin tongue. She would lick us if we had food on our fingers, she would lick our lips. Just like a cute baby.

I miss her fur. He warm fuzzy fur. Her funny mullet fur around the neck. She loved us stroking her for hours.

I miss her bendy legs. I could never teach her to give me a handshake.

I miss her big brown eyes. She would tear up anytime.

I miss her non-extensive tail. Short yet I see her wagging vigorously everytime we opened the door to give her some food.

I miss her so much, it hurts inside so badly.

I hate getting a pet because I would be so emotionally attached to them.

But now, Jesse has become so important in everyone’s lives.

Everyone loved her.

To whom has read this, please say a little prayer for her.

No matter you’re a Muslim, a Buddhist, a Taoist, a Hindu, a Sikh, a Catholic, a Christian, atheist, etc.

So a little prayer for her.

She was hurting when she left.

Make her comfortable up there. Make her happy up there.

She deserves the best.

If she was reincarnated, I wish she was a person.

I would be her best friend. I would take care of her.

R.I.P Jesse Goh.

Aged 7 dog years.

Passed away 1.30am on 22^nd February 2010.

Which one would you choose?

This?



Abit biased coz this trailer doesn't show much on LA.

Let them tell you how it is about LA.





Which one would you choose?

New Year's

Whatta year it was for me.
I was nothing in 2009.
I went from something to nothing in 2009.
Everyone I knew was moving ahead, I was stuck without any help at all.

I travelled to a place.
I did a multi-million project.
I became closer to my family.
I searched for a way to survive.
I took a year off.


Then 2010 came. I was browsing through everyone's Facebook status, and all I saw was people whom I knew that they couldn't even bother about caring for others, people who think they are content with their perfect lives, people who don't give a f*** about me. They were lamenting, cursing, worrying, groaning about the lives that they have right now.

What do they know?

I couldn't help but SMILE. I felt I was in a good position right now. I have a job offer which I'm still contemplating, an interview, a dream job coming soon. And I've grown closer to a person whom I still care deeply for.

I LAUGHED at those silly people.

Why did you think you could be happy and yet grumble about your work?
Why did you think you could buy nice things for your 'friends', just to make them stay as your friends?
Why are you complaining about a job that you have that pays well?
What kind of dreams that you have anyway?

I scoffed. I used to think I have a dream job. But unfortunately I have to let go of it. I knew I wasn't confident enough, and I don't have that talent at all. Luckily, another door opened for me. I hope I'll get it.



I know 2010 is my time. And I know I will step on those who have ridiculed, looked down on me.
Do not think that you reign over me by just having what I use to have. You may have friends whom you lavish great gifts, have nice parties, socialize like a butterfly, and yet you are always the one who I look down.

I felt really good reading those status updates. I couldn't say taking a year off was my best option, but I think it did me well.

Christmas Woes

I have to say this year is the WORST EVER Christmas I've ever had.
No celebrations. Not even a dinner. Not even a nice meal. Nothing.

Too bad the man of the hour goes to someone I'm related.
This year has been my worse year. "Nothingness" can be used to describe my year.

Have a Merry X'mas to the fortunate ones.

It feels like eternity talking to you.

To you know who I'm talking about.

This is the last thing I would ever tell you.
Even though you couldn't bring your eyes to read this.
What stems out is this racism thing that everyone has, secretly or unabashedly.
Have you thought about thinking in other people's shoes?
Have you thought about the what ifs?
Have you thought about every single word that you said is like a double-edged sword, cutting to and fro into our hearts?
Our hearts that when you first lost your way, we gave them to you?
You wouldn't feel a thing when I say this to you, don't you?

It feels like eternity talking to you.
With your ramblings and certain brain mush that I did not judge you for.
We welcomed your return. You said you would come back every year, willingly.
But it happened.
I can't help to say I'm not that racist, but it was someone who made you turn your back to us.
Someone I had never seen, someone you only knew for a year. Someone you knew you didn't have a chance, and yet you fell for the deja vu again.

Nobody could pull you up again. Nobody. But us.
We tried so hard. I, tried to talk some sense and yet listen to your stories.
But now, you have become such obsessed with anti-racism in us, that you clearly wanted to not associate yourself with us.
The impact that you would do, the great lengths that you would go for someone who would reciprocate your love. For something that you already knew.

We always welcome you back.
But this time it is your choice.
If you do something not right, you would not understand how deep this will hurt someone you clearly love since you were born.

I have already told you.
NOBODY IS PERFECT.
NOBODY DARES TO SAY THEY ARE NOT RACIST.
But for you to come out holier-than-thou, this calls for harsh actions.
I'm sorry to say but I've never been so disappointed in you IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

You, who once looked up to me.
You, who I never looked down upon for you imperfections.
You, who once said that family is the most important thing in my life.
If you dare to say you wanted nothing to do with us, please do not take care of my mother. Please don't. If you do not share her views, never mind, but do not insult her.
Please do not be someone who calls her a ***** and say I will take care of her.
Please don't.

SHE WON'T LET YOU EITHER.

I hope you are happy about what you have said and done. And for what it's worth, I hope you are satisfied with it.

I dated Summer Finn today. And got dumped.

Mindfucked.
By Summer Finn.
Yes I tell you.
I dated her for 1 and 40 mins today. And got dumped.
But I'm no Tom Hansen. I'm just someone who knows how it's like to be Tom Hansen.




THIS IS A STORY ABOUT LOVE. NOT A LOVE STORY.

I love this movie. It's so simple, and yet you get blown in the face by this blue-eyed, Katy Perry lookalike of Zooey Deschanel. She was just so easy, and yet her eyes draws you in just like that. Even the camera loves her, focusing on her eyes. Just her eyes. And she goes into a rant "I'm not looking into a relationship right now." What do you do exactly, Tom? Do you keep it casual? Hold hands in Ikea? Shower sex? Sleepovers? What does it mean?

"So what do you think...this thing we are doing now?"

It was good. So good. The continuity and plot was so simple. And yet the editing was superb, leaving you the days that he was with Summer, breaking up with her (he was dumped), all so clear, complete with colors (red or blue for good happy days, grey or black for days that he was not that OK with Summer). And some people said it was hard to understand?! WTF?! Are you all robots?!

It's always that look..you know you were the one for each other. And it all falls apart.

This chronicles the first day he met her. And it drags on...till it was times up. Till he saw something happened in front of his eyes, that he knew it was over. I could relate to it, seeing that people around me were mulling around, moping, hoping that the other person could get back with them. Tom said "I don't wanna get over her, I wanna get her back." Suit yourself, Tom.

The beautiful LA skyline. And 2 beautiful people.

The whole movie was in Los Angeles. And I didn't know they had really nice buildings there. All I thought it could be only contemporary buildings there. Oh boy, it was really nice. I hope I could see them soon.

I don't normally do reviews, but I did watch this ALONE. And when you watch movies alone, the emotion is magnified to a million times. And all I tried was not to bawl my eyes out. I left with a teary eye and a lump in my throat. LOVED IT.

500 Days of Summer. 500 days of loneliness.

Am I worth it? Are you worth it?

Sometimes people do really take you for granted. I guarantee you that.
All the good things, all the nice things, they really do think you're just a regular person trying to help you out.
Once it all dies down, once the tables turn, you know you won't get a good favor from them. You know you won't. But you still do it. You still fall headlong in to this ugly, ugly trap. You think you're worth doing this for them. You're worth something to them.

IT'S STUPID.

It's always something dark, down there, your heart.
It's always an uphill battle, trying to fight it. You know you can win. but you just don't want to.
You are that naive.

You have been warned, by people who are crystal clear on this. Level headed people.
You get stuck in the middle. You turn, nobody saves you. You tell that person, all you get is a hug, a pat. Nothing more.

In the end, it consumes you.
It eats you alive.
What is left of you? Nothing.
Not love. Nothing.

So are you still worth it?
Am I still worthy of you?